Unleashed Patience

Bismi Allah

What does it mean to be patient? Is patience hoping for something and waiting until you get it? Or is patience doing something about that desire and seeking it, knowing that ultimately whether you acquire that pure 'object of desire' or not is something you have no control over.

Patience is the way of our ideal role model, Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him. Do I have that? Is it patience that I lack or is it the effort toward the goal that I lack? Is it ever okay for me to compromise my values, trouble my heart, and challenge my mind for a chance at achieving that goal? No, it's not. That's where patience is required. There are no more strikes left in this inning. I'm out of the game.

Instead, a refocus is in order. I recognize a force unnamed that cannot sit and wait for things that may never happen. Will they happen if I don't try? No, they won't. Patience is not synonymous with inactivity. Stagnant waters can never feed fish or the undergrowth of an ocean. They are limited to their confines.

A speck of dust is to be admired. It is tameless, free, but it is fickle. It knows no patience. It knows hardship. Is hardship the price we pay for losing patience?

I submit to Your plan ya Rabb. A moment of clarity that I have hoped for has come. I cannot smile. It's here. Now. My heart and mind are reconciled, and this is the beginning of yet another path. For a heart and mind that conflict leave nothing but an unsettled soul. I fear that if my heart were to speak, it would disclose more than is befitting of a patient servant. So I tame my voice. Patience by my side, I know what needs to be done before I return to dust.

Ya Rabb, give me the strengh to be as You command of me, to not waver in what pleases You, and to have peace with You.