Convoluted Clarity

Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim

There I was standing on a mountain. The large village was clearly visible down below. My eyes scanned over the greenery and the sparsely placed clusters of homes and neighbourhoods. There I was standing on a mountain.

The air blew into my eyes. I lifted up my (face) veil and took in a deep breath as my veil carefully followed the lead of the calm wind. It was my only chance in life to scream my heart out. But I'm not a screamer. It was my only chance in life to fly with the birds. But I had no wings. Instead I savoured the scenery. The flavour still remains on my lips. There I was standing on a mountain.

My dreams no longer take me there, and I'm forced to handle my life here in both wakefulness and sleep. It's an honour in its own right. But I cannot forget that there is clarity on mountain tops. There is real clarity in every effort to elevate one's thoughts and purpose from the tangible, the menial, the inconsequential, and the ineffectual. There is great clarity in the heightened awareness of true value and worthy perspectives.

And when we cannot reach such heights in our efforts to reach this clarity, we grapple with whatever we can to try to decipher the world around us. But the only value that we get from this is a sense of anticipatory renewal or insight. Perhaps angst gives us hope as there must be clarity after confusion. No?

I really don't know. I wait and long for the chance to reach those heights where I can soar with the birds in their seemingly effortless flight. But I recognize that I am in a complete state of unawareness, and my heart challenges it every single day. Only God knows how much longer such subtle conflicts can persist without affecting serious damage. We put our trust in Him and pray for the best.

Success is with You ya Rab. Clarity is with You ya Haleem. Forgive us, guide us, teach us, and let us not be content with anything other than You and Your guidance and direction. On You alone we depend. And though we may stray, our hearts long for You and only You. There is nothing of the world we seek except You and Your love, mercy, and guidance. Grant us an awareness of what it means to know You and to be close to You. Let that be our sweetness, and let that be our success. Ameen.


Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim

Most days I feel like I can't pinpoint it
But some days I realize that I can
I don't deny that there is good in it
As it is all part of God's masterful plan

But as I like to tell myself that I submit
I know this cannot be true
And as difficult as it is to admit
I need to see myself anew

Yes, I am walking and only on Him I depend
But my restlessness is a source of concern
Are these emotions that I must suspend?
Or is there a lesson that I must now discern?

It's not greener on the other side
I'll be the first to say
But it's neither a matter of wealth or pride
But instead an effort to find a way

And though the path is increasingly unclear
We live only a moment at a time
Only with His guidance can I attempt to steer
An empty heart's life of crime

الحمد لله على كل حال
"Do you think that you will enter the Paradise without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you? They encountered suffering and adversity and were so shaken in spirit that even the Apostle and those of faith who were with him cried: 'When (will come) the help of God?' Ah! Verily the help of God is (always) near!" [2:214]



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"Be mindful of God, and God will protect you. Be mindful of God, and you will find Him in front of you. If you ask, ask of God. If you seek help, seek help of God. Know that if the whole world were to gather together to benefit you with anything, it would benefit you only with something that God had already prescribed for you. And if the whole world were to gather together to harm you, it would harm you only with something that God has already prescribed for you. The pens have been lifted and the ink has dried."
--Prophet Muhammad [peace be upon him]