Passing Thoughts

Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim

It's a full moon tonight. My niece and I spent the earlier part of the night enjoying the night sky and mountain scenery together. The household has since fallen into a deep slumber, but sleep escapes me and I'm hardly inclined to blame an afternoon nap for this.

There is little about my life perspectives worth articulating these days, and perhaps that explains my recent written silence. There are many things that I've considered writing about, but the words seemed not to fall into place as they normally do. Even still, I continue to have difficulty finding my words. Alhamdulillah, I've recently closed one brief chapter in my life, one that I was ever-eager to complete. Unexpectedly, and by God's grace alone, I now find myself visiting close relatives who I haven't seen in about four years. I can hardly believe the changes that time has revealed.

I remember visiting the hospital when my niece, the daughter of my sibling-like cousin, was born. A few years afterwards, when she was still a toddler, I remember humouring her with games fit for a princess. Her older brother is the first of the family youngings, and I can hardly believe that he is now a young man and already taller than me. Since his birth, Allah has blessed us with 14 other births and 5 stepchildren. Alhamdulillah. All praises and thanks belong to Him for these many blessings. With 20 children that I like to call my own (though I've yet to meet one of them) child rearing concerns me.

I don't have the answers to many of the questions that I have in this regard. It goes without saying that parents all have their own parenting styles and most want the best for their children. Right now, it's not appropriate that I spend a great deal of time thinking about this as there are more pressing and practical things that I need to attend to as soon as I return home, God willing. I pray that I have the strength to pursue them as my track record thus far is horrible.

In the meantime, for those few of you take the time to keep track of my ramblings here, I'll invite you to think about your parents and their efforts to raise you to the best of their abilities. Pray for them. Honour them. And serve them for the sake of Allah.

May Allah take us all back to Him in the best of states, and may He allow us to lead lives that are pleasing to Him. May He use us as tools in His service and protect us from all evils, ameen.

***

Ya Waaliday
يا والدي

Nothing can fully articulate what needs to be said
Though often times I wonder
In those wee hours of the night while lying in bed
How great it is that this love still grows fonder

Since even before my first breath of this world's air
Your two hearts were constricted by my uncertain state
Before the world even knew my name did you care
God's generosity is abundantly clear in our written fate

Limitless have been your lessons in all respects
And selflessness adorns all your offers of companionship
My every decision lovingly circumspect
As I hold a goblet of gratitude awaiting your sip

Servicing your requests are my honour
And inciting your disappointments are my shame
Endless wasted opportunities now considered a goner
My history of disservice marks a soul's pitiful fame

How rare it is for me to sit down and say
My dearest mother and father I love you more than you'll know
Thank you for the many blessings you've helped bring my way
And forgive me for the many times my appreciation fails to show

Recognizing this as your life-long investment
It is only from God that the fruits of your labour can be unveiled
I am impoverished and will certainly fail in repayment
So I ask Him to bless you with the best of this world and the next and make this a debt repaid

Ameen!

Written on March 28, 2009
"Do you think that you will enter the Paradise without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you? They encountered suffering and adversity and were so shaken in spirit that even the Apostle and those of faith who were with him cried: 'When (will come) the help of God?' Ah! Verily the help of God is (always) near!" [2:214]

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Inspiration

"Be mindful of God, and God will protect you. Be mindful of God, and you will find Him in front of you. If you ask, ask of God. If you seek help, seek help of God. Know that if the whole world were to gather together to benefit you with anything, it would benefit you only with something that God had already prescribed for you. And if the whole world were to gather together to harm you, it would harm you only with something that God has already prescribed for you. The pens have been lifted and the ink has dried."
--Prophet Muhammad [peace be upon him]