BismiLlahir Rahmanir Rahim

It was a windy and stormy night. I shuddered at the intensity of the night's thunder as I focused intensely on the road ahead of me. I'm not sure what exactly happened next, though I remember hearing the gratingly loud and irksome noise of metal crushing.

Shortly after, the sound of relentlessly loud honking filled my ears. I hoped it would stop soon as it was a merciless sound, but I soon realized that it was on account of my head resting on the steering wheel. I guess the airbag didn't activate. I tried to lift my head, now a dead weight, but I couldn't. I had no more control over my body.

I was in my final moments, and I realized that the Angel of Death was soon on his way to meet me. I was alone in a car far from anyone who normally offered me comfort. Panic started to set in as the reality of my situation became clear. Distress overtook me, and I wished there was someone nearby to read tasbih or Ya-Sin to lessen the pain in the process of my spirit's departure from my body.

It was the only moment of truth I would have in my life, and I continued to tremble at the thought of its approach. Tears flowed from my eyes, accompanied by ragged and terrified breathing. I tried to say the shahadah, and though it left my lips once, they were not my last words as I begged for God's forgiveness.

My fear was overwhelming, and I counselled myself to have a good opinion of my Lord, as He, the Exalted says, "I am as my servant thinks Me to be, and I am with him when he remembers Me." [Hadith] I tried to remind myself about a man's response when asked about his state as he lay on his deathbed. "Hoping in my Lord and fearful of my sins," he said. One then declared, "Never do these two things unite in the heart of a Muslim, in such a situation as this, but that God grants him what he hopes for, and gives him safekeeping from what he fears."

I opened my eyes and found myself alone looking at the ceiling of my bedroom, the experience evidenced by my tears.

I suppose all I had was a taste of what awaits me, and in God's great generosity, He allows me to live longer so that perhaps when the inevitable time comes for me to meet with the Angel of Death I may be better prepared.

Ya Rab, the veils of deception in this world are too great for me. I have nothing to hang onto except what You favour me with. Ya Allah, take us back to You in the best of states, let us meet You with a smile, and let our lives not be in vain. To You we submit, and from You alone we seek help. Let the purpose of our lives reflect in our actions, and protect us from wronging the bodies and souls with which you've blessed us. Ameen.

الله معي, الله شاهدي, الله حاضري, الله ناظري, الله قريب مني

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"Do you think that you will enter the Paradise without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you? They encountered suffering and adversity and were so shaken in spirit that even the Apostle and those of faith who were with him cried: 'When (will come) the help of God?' Ah! Verily the help of God is (always) near!" [2:214]



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"Be mindful of God, and God will protect you. Be mindful of God, and you will find Him in front of you. If you ask, ask of God. If you seek help, seek help of God. Know that if the whole world were to gather together to benefit you with anything, it would benefit you only with something that God had already prescribed for you. And if the whole world were to gather together to harm you, it would harm you only with something that God has already prescribed for you. The pens have been lifted and the ink has dried."
--Prophet Muhammad [peace be upon him]