Uncertain Dependence

Bismi Allah

At this moment, I am officially free of any worldly commitments. I really don't have to be doing anything, though there are many things I suppose I should do. Yet, I still feel at a loose end. I feel guilty having 'nothing to do' per se. Ironically, I find myself having trouble balancing my lack of commitments. How strange is that?

I suppose my discontent stems from knowing that while I have no commitments, I do have serious ambitions - none of which I have the means to achieving just yet. But "wondrous is the affair of the believer" which must then mean that Allah is giving me this time of freedom to dedicate to all my lesser ambitions.

Words can be so pretty sometimes, so clear, and so wise. It is practice and implementation of these words that always catch me. How will I ever learn to discipline myself toward achieving any of my freelance ambitions?

Everything that happens in life inevitably returns to the question of gratefulness to Allah, Glorified and Most High is He. I have no idea what will become of my life and ultimately of my death. I fear that if I were to indulge my current state of being, it would benefit little and instead I would unintentionally display ingratitude to my Creator. So again, I silence myself and enjoy the beauty of this hadith...

"Be mindful of God, and God will protect you. Be mindful of God, and you will find Him in front of you. If you ask, ask of God. If you seek help, seek help of God. Know that if the whole world were to gather together to benefit you with anything, it would benefit you only with something that God had already prescribed for you. And if the whole world were to gather together to harm you, it would harm you only with something that God has already prescribed for you. The pens have been lifted and the ink has dried."
--Prophet Muhammad [peace be upon him]

SubhanAllah, isn't that just beautiful? Here's some more of that beauty...

"O God, by Thy knowledge of the unseen and Thy power
to create, grant me life as long as Thou knowest life to
be best for me, and take me when Thouest know death
to be best for me. O God, I ask Thee for fear (and love)
of Thee both within my secret heart and openly. I ask
Thee for the word of truth in pleasure and anger. I ask
Thee for moderation in both poverty and riches. I ask
Thee for felicity which does not pass away. I ask Thee
for comfort which is not cut off. I ask Thee for satisfaction
with what is decreed. I ask Thee for a pleasant life after
death. I ask Thee for the pleasure of looking at Thy
face and longing to meet Thee in a state in which distress
does not cause harm or testing lead astray. O God,
beautify us with the adornment of faith and make us
(among those) who are rightly guided."
Recorded in Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 788

--- Ameen.

Pray for me and this ummah, please.

2 comments:

Faraz said...

That has always been one of my favourite hadith. Whenever I feel discouraged by my personal situation or current circumstances, my heart always reminds me, rufi'al aqlaam wa juhfatis-suhuf.

Farzeen said...

Assalaamu'alaykum

Thanks for the Arabic. Were it not for the word aqlaam, I probably wouldn't have known which part of the hadith you were quoting.

I suspect your knowledge of Arabic is half decent, do you pick it up by memorizing certain ahadith and ayahs with the English translation?

"Do you think that you will enter the Paradise without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you? They encountered suffering and adversity and were so shaken in spirit that even the Apostle and those of faith who were with him cried: 'When (will come) the help of God?' Ah! Verily the help of God is (always) near!" [2:214]

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Inspiration

"Be mindful of God, and God will protect you. Be mindful of God, and you will find Him in front of you. If you ask, ask of God. If you seek help, seek help of God. Know that if the whole world were to gather together to benefit you with anything, it would benefit you only with something that God had already prescribed for you. And if the whole world were to gather together to harm you, it would harm you only with something that God has already prescribed for you. The pens have been lifted and the ink has dried."
--Prophet Muhammad [peace be upon him]